5 steps to happiness by psychologyst

It is so often that we come across people that seems to have it all . They have all the money to live a good life, they are healthy sometimes with personal trainers and some half marathons under their belt, they are a good relationships. There people get to their 40 and wake up every days grumpy and unenergised, they can't wait to have big legless drink out with friends in pub to forget their noise in their head.

As a result their start looking for a cause to their happiness, some find it in their job some in their relationship until some more years and the process repeat it self.

The problem is there is not one solution, there are many solutions to many problems and you need to know where you are to find where you want to go and how to get there.

I find sometimes people say what is wrong with me , I have everything and am not happy?

I often say to people there is nothing wrong with you you just are not aware of some other believes and programming in your mind that you acquired from society and lack of some important knowledge when it comes to achieving and preserving happiness.

1. First important fact.
Know thye self- Socrates
If during you time growing up you picked up that status is very important and you need to follow a degree that gives you status and is well payed is great. if all the time you keep mindful of all the other needs, needs for connection with friends, need to grow and keep you mind curios and alive and the need give back to society than the life will still be in balance. Stephen Covey on his various books mentions the need to feed our mind, body and soul.

2. Looking a A. Maslow hierarchy of needs as to how to be happy. Unfortunately only 2% of population in the USA are happy and fulfilled. In the richest country in the world only 2% are happy? Unfortunately the GDP measures the amount of money not the happiness.

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I will I know this when i was planning my career or use to be happy and content truly we need to get to self- actualisation. having a great home, great spouse, childrens and money is not enough. We need to give to create and contribute.



3. Third important fact. 
Happiness can be measured, can be studied and needs daily or weekly practices.  There is an amazing field called positive psychology that started flourishing 10years ago.
a. write gratitude journal. once a week initially for 6weeks has proven great benefit.
b. savouring moments of blissfulness, like having a tea, coffee, walking park, playing with children's.
c. write a thank you note to somebody that help you some time before that you did not thank properly before and better read it in person.
Another way that i found from Gretchen Rubin fans page is.

In order to be happy you must AACT
A-Anticipate with pleasure
A-Appreciate the moment
R-Relate your happiness to others
T-Tell others of your experience

4. We need to savor happiness when we find it to avoid " hedonic adaptation".
You bought the 3 bed house you wanted you have enough space, garage and you studio it makes you exstatic. After 2 years living in it the happiness seems to fade, is not the same.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

because we are human and we are build this way. This is called Hedonic adaptation.
we adapt to positive and negative events , things are horrible when they happen but 2-3m lated we adjust. Goal are amazing when we reach them but then we adjust. I went to one of A. Robbins events and he suggested the point of Big goals is not just to reach them , the point is what we have to become to reach them.

5. The midlife crisis is not a bad thing. WHAT?
YES. Midlife crisis is a good thing.
People rush to the doctor to get a quick pill to change their state , or to the pub for a drink or smoking/ eating incessantly and miss the lesson to be learned from it.
I was listening once to Earl Nightingale explaining how he responded to people going through mid-life crisis. " Good for You" - the universe or you inner self how you want to call it is letting you know that you are off course and is giving you a shake to straighten the course.
Is the best time to wake up and live the life that truly makes you happy if you bear the pain and don't damage you head, health in the process.